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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a human that's now a cactus? A transplant."

"One time Bill Murray came up to me at a Wendys, took a fry off my tray, ate it, looked me dead in the eyes and said ""Nobody's going to believe you"""

"Difference between oral and anal What's the difference between oral sex and anal sex? Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak!"

"Why did the cat sleep under the car ? Because she wanted to wake up oily !"

"Facebook has a link to ""Report a Problem"" so I wrote ""I'm not very close with my father."" Now we wait I guess"

"What do you call a happy ending at a Jewish massage parlor? Free."

"Customer: Waiter there's a button in my salad. Waiter: It must have come off while the salad was dressing."

"The boy was so lazy that he got up a bit earlier so that he could do nothing for a bit longer."

"I wish we were Irish Daughter: I wish we were Irish, so we could have more fun on St. Patrick's Day Me: Irish you were a Beer"

"The sweater you left is in the closet. just like you."