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Joke of the Day

"Ann: I wanna break up Ed: why? A: you use time travel to manipulate me E: when, exactly, did you start to suspect this? A: well... Hey!"

"What is the origin of the word ""Boob""? The ""B"" is the aerial view, the ""oo"" is the front view, the ""b"" is the side view."

"Knock Knock -Who's there? -Interrupting cow with an identity crisis. -Interrupting cow w- -WOOF! WOOF!"

"What do you call a city-dwelling dwarf that keeps perfect time? A metro-gnome"

"What's black and white and red all over? Mimes in a chainsaw fight."

"He knows when you are sleeping. He knows when you're awake. He knows if you've been bad or good... Does Santa work for the NSA?"

"Your momma's so fat . . . She has to lift up the toilet seat to take a shit."

"""Sir, we're mining too many useless minerals!"" Hitler: ""Mine fewer then"" Reddit: ""I did **not see** that coming"" EDIT: Shit, I didn't get that Reich at all"

"How can you spot a bad stripper? Because they half-ass it."

"How many people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just two. It only requires that either the people are very small or the light bulb is very large."