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Joke of the Day

"One time a baby threw up in my mouth & it still wasn't as disgusting as Nicholas Cage's haircut in National Treasure 2."

"YOUR LISTENING TO MAGIC FM........pick a frequency, any frequency"

"So you're looking for a good guy who will love and respect you, but yet you post half naked pics on your fb? why that's .thats brilliant!"

"""This is not a drill!"" -Lying electric drill that refers to itself in the third person"

"Called to my managers office today He said ""you can't wear pyjamas to work you idiot!"" I replied "" everyone else does though"" He replied ""THEIR PATIENTS"""

"To show off my ""Downton Abbey etiquette"" at the gym, I don't throw punches at the punching bag. I just say something witty and cruel to it."

"Fire at will! Why does everyone hate Will? ^^courtesy ^^of ^^my ^^Uncle ^^Rick"

"What do you call a waterfall that flows upwards? Viagra falls!"

"WHAT DO YOU CALL...... Q: WHAT DO YOU CALL IT WHEN SOMEONE FARTS IN A GAY BAR? A: A PICK UP LINE"

"I told my psychiatrist that I believe I have the power to detect Indian bread for miles around. He said that's naan-sense."