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Joke of the Day

"I'll never forgive the Nazis for how they treated my Granddad in that concentration camp during the war... Five years he was there on that machine gun tower, and never got a single promotion..."

"Laurie got offended just because I used the word ""puke"" But to me, that's what her dinner tasted like."

"How do you know when it is raining cats and dogs? There are poodles everywhere!"

"How many Ron Pauls does it take to change a lightbulb?"

"A man orders soup at a restaurant. The waiter sets his plate down and he sees a fly in the bowl... So he asks the waiter, ""What's this fly doing in my soup?"" The waiter responds, ""The backstroke."""

"Which wrestler has the finisher that stings the most? Stone Cold Steve Irwin."

"I've had insomnia so much it is starting to worry me. But I won't lose any sleep over it."

"Why don't monkeys gamble in the jungle? There are too many cheetahs."

"I tried to give a cute waitress my phone number by writing it on the credit card receipt but accidentally tipped her 5 billion dollaers???"

"High joke A cop stops a man and asks ""how high are you?"" The man replies."" That is wrong english. You should say 'Hi how are you?'"""