215726
Joke of the Day
"""Thanks for nothing, Evolution."" - Flightless Birds"
Next Joke
"I just read that Disney is making a sequel to Bambi. He gets revenge on the hunters that killed his mother. They're calling it....... Bambo"
"I left a godless morning fart in each of the kids' lunchboxes so they'll know I was thinking about them."
"As a kid, I had a real obsession with Posh Spice It cost my parents a fortune in saffron..."
"My priest's been buying tonnes of kittens lately... I think he's a Cat-a-holic."
"Graphene can do everything... Except leave the lab. :)"
"Me: ""I'm thinking about running a marathon again"" Her: ""Wow, you have ran a marathon before?"" Me: ""No, but I have thought about it."""
"95% of my tweets are the truth. The only thing I lie about are statistics."
"Dear Life, I have a complete grasp on the fact that you are not fair... so please quit teaching me that lesson."
"*exorcism* DEMON: *roars* PRIEST: we must restrain him! WIFE: *opens drawer* here! *tosses fuzzy pink handcuffs* PRIEST: ... DEMON: hey now"