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Joke of the Day

"How is a chronic disease unlike the 9th Doctor, but like the 10th Doctor? It sticks around for more than 1 Season, and doesn't want to go."

"Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? Because he got hit by a car."

"What do you call a man with no arms and no legs playing in a pile of leaves? Rustle"

"Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate."

"So I met a girl named Tennessee I said to her, ""You're a ten, I see!"" And that's how I blew it with the hottest girl in the world."

"You raised me and taught me everything I know. Happy Father's Day, internet."

"Guys! I finally dusted my bedroom! And guess what? I HAVE A NIGHTSTAND!!!"

"How do you know if someone is a vegan? They'll fucking tell you..."

"""Your dad cant hold a candle to what my daddy can do."" ""Oh Ya, what does he do?"" ""Makes gun powder."""

"It starts with.... Her sinking into your arms And it ends with her arms into your sink"