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Joke of the Day

"All who believe in Telekinesis.... All who believe in Telekinesis raise my hand."

"""Found"" a nest of ground bees and got stung multiple times. But I was able to remove all the stingers. So yes, my pullout game is strong."

"If life was a video game it would be created by EA Because you have to pay real money inside the game."

"I just heard a woman in a supermarket say this to her 7 year old daughter... ""Don't spit! Ladies never spit!"" Fcuking. Priceless."

"Center for Disease Control: overconsumption of beta-carotene linked to dangerous rise in pH of blood In other words, pumpkin spice lattes make you basic."

"""A man in a wheelchair walks into the room..."" Um, teacher? (*true story, just happened!*)"

"I bought a keg and bagels today. That's what kegel is, right?"

"If you think Phil Robertson (the Duck Dynasty guy) has offensive view regarding homosexuality, or slavery... You should hear his answers regarding evolution, climate change, or 8 plus 9."

"Did you guys hear about the dry erase board It's remarkable"

"What does a black guy get after sex? 20-30 years in prison"