215609

Joke of the Day

"I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND FIND YOU and cuddle you softly."

"how to get a fat chick in bed... It's a piece of cake!"

"Miss piggy Did u know that when she counts Miss Piggy never gets to 70? She gets to 69 and end up with a frog in her throat"

"What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? a Lickalottapus"

"What do women and penny stocks have in common? If you hold on to them too long instead of pumping and dumping them, you'll lose all your shit."

"9: ""Mom, that's a pretty necklace. Can I have it?"" Me: ""No, I got it as a gift."" 9: ""Well, can I have it when you die, then?"""

"what did the lactose intolerant man say after eating an ice cream cone? please excuse my dairy air"

"Why couldn't the lifeguard save the hippie? 'cause he was too far out man!"

"Why does Hillary keep bumping into people at the White House? So she can be pardoned."

"I was pretty nervous doing stand-up in front of a bunch of nudists but then I imagined the crowd in their underwear and it helped so much."