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Joke of the Day
"How rare was the disease that killed Tom Jones' wife? It's not unusual"
Next Joke
"Always leave them wanting more, my uncle used to tell me. I guess that's why he lost his job in disaster relief."
"What do you call a proud Danish countryman? A pastriot."
"WIFE: *yells into basement* Our savings account is entirely empty. Do you know what happened? ME: *assembling robot monkey butler* No idea"
"[reeling in big fish and turns to friend] you got the net? ""yes"" ok, google how to get this thing in the boat"
"I guess you can say Eagles of Death Metal's fanbase is really blowing up.."
"Accidentally poured myself a glass of vodka at 9am. Accidentally drank it too. I'm so fcuking clumsy."
"Mountains ain't just funny... They are hill areas."
"What happened when the owl lost his voice ? He didn't give a hoot !"
"Teens are like the Magic 8ball of humans, they think they have all the answers & you want to shake them because what they said was stupid."