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Joke of the Day

"[reeling in big fish and turns to friend] you got the net? ""yes"" ok, google how to get this thing in the boat"

"Miss Piggy can be a such a hamful to deal with"

"The opposite of SpongeBob SquarePants is TowelWeave CircleShorts"

"How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? When she starts her sentence with, ""A man once told me..."""

"Why are Women and Children evacuated first in a Disaster? So we can think about a solution in silence."

"Sorry I said your cat was ugly. Oh, and sorry for thinking your baby was a cat."

"8: ow ow ow ow ow me: what are you doing? 8: looking for my toy me: why don't you turn your light on? 8: i can see in the dark me: carry on"

"My friend and I always fight over the electric drill It can get a little bit heated."

"I caught my friend licking my tv today. So much for the high def LSD screen."

"are u nervous? do u hav nerves? dont wory. just take a deep breath. BUT NOT TOO DEEP!!! dont want ur lungs to pop. dont want that to hapen"