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Joke of the Day

"Sex so good you see dead people."

"Man, I'd give my first born to be able to have a kid someday"

"So I hear that the Euro is destabilizing and deflating... ...if its value decreases any more, Europe might have to switch back to their old international currency, Czechoslovakia."

"I was sitting across the bus today from a very sexy Thai girl...and I kept saying to myself ""Don't get an erection , Don't get an erection""....But she did"

"Mothers are always one question from ruining your day."

"No, YOU didn't tighten the cap on my urine sample"

"How many tax auditors does it take to find a $1.00 mistake in an expense report? Three. One to find the mistake and two to discuss the significance of it."

"I once dated a dyslexic woman. I took her home and she cooked my sock."

"One of my patients took me to Sioux City Now Iowa defense attorney a lot of money."

"Kanye walks into a museum in Finland. ""Imma let you Finnish,"" he snickers. The entire tour laughs. They're all Kanye, too. And so are you."