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Joke of the Day

"FLIGHT ATTENDANT: sir calm down ME (having panic attack): sorry I've never flown before PILOT (over intercom): dont worry neither have I lol"

"Ali was great but he was not the greatest... The best boxer that ever lived was reverend Jim Jones. He killed over 900 people with one punch!"

"When you put the punchline in the title... How do you ruin a joke?"

"What did the fly say to the other fly? ""Your man is open!"""

"What did the dog bring to party? Wooffies!"

"Me at age 5 ""I wish I had a $1"" Me at age 10 ""I wish I had $100"" Me at age 17 ""I wish I had $1,000,000"" Me at age 26 ""I wish I had $1"""

"Did you know Helen Keller had a swing set? She didn't know either"

"Lochte: My record is the most credible, because... IM the world record holder."

"I hate colored pencils. I'd rather dye than use them."

"What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk"