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Joke of the Day

"This cracked me up at work tonight! Did you hear about the famous actress that slit her throat tonight? What's her name? Reese... Reese Witherspoon? No with a knife"

"I don't like progeria jokes. They get old fast."

"""I'm gonna look to my left and run as fast as I can."" - Toddlers"

"My 4 year old refused his dinner but it's ok because I caught him eating a Milkbone earlier"

"So a seal walks into a club. The end."

"What did Putin say to Ukraine after invading? Crimea River."

"[to snake at news station] you can't do weather anymore ""ssswhy not?"" are we getting rain tomorrow? ""sssno"" do you see how that's confusing?"

"A bear and a rabbit are pooping next to each other. The bears asks: ""Does your fur stick to the poop?"" The rabbit replied with: ""Of course not."" Then the bear wipes his ass with the rabbit."

"Did you hear about the clairvoyant midget that escaped from jail? He's a small medium at large."

"In light of all the LGBT groups participating in St Patrick's Day..... I'm going to open a new Irish themed gay bar. It will be called *Sodom and Begorrah*"