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Joke of the Day

"Its disgusting and derogatory to call a gay man a fruit How could something so pure and sweet be compared to a homosexual!!!"

"Why did the Limestone feel unappreciated? Because he thought people were taking him for granite."

"Actions speak louder than Facebook posts..."

"""One man's trash is another man's treasure"".. ..is a shitty way to tell a kid they're adopted"

"The John Birch Society wants American schools to ban protractors. Because a protractor marks angles."

"How does a feminist screw in a light bulb? She holds the bulb up to the socket and then expects the world to revolve around her."

"So is Walmart a verb now? As in, ""I'm out of clean underwear, so I'm going to have to Walmart it today."""

"My penis is like a shotgun I pump, shoot and reload"

"Turtle to turtle: ""Don't ya just love the sound of rain on your roof?"""

"I'd like to die like my grandfather, who passed away while sleeping Not like his four passengers..."