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Joke of the Day

"I asked a sexy chinese girl for her number, she replied sex, sex, sex, free sex tonight... I said wow, I must be in luck, until her friend grabbed me and said, she means 6663629"

"Amazing how easily that guy scaled Trump Tower. Thank God u can't get suction cups in Mexico cause then wall idea would be really stupid."

"What is a pirate's favorite letter? Ya think it's the R, but it be the C!"

"My therapist says I need to overcome ""shame-based"" thinking but if it wasn't for shame I don't think I'd get a damn thing done around here."

"Dear Kids, there is no Santa. Those presents are from your parents. Love, Julian Assange - *WikiLeaks*."

"I recently went to Israel The showers and trains didn't work."

"I'm going to name my dick Pride. So when I fuck your mom, she will be filled with Pride."

"Why did the scarecrow earn a promotion? Because it was outstanding in its field"

"Why do feminists always complain about video games? Because they're too stupid to learn how to make them."

"I just realized that no matter what it says on my tombstone I'm going to have to read it upside down."