207668

Joke of the Day

"Spell check changed ""important"" to ""impotent"" so basically I have a meeting in the morning that can't get it up."

"Why does Snoop Dog always carry an umbrella? Fodrizzle"

"My wife is so stupid... She thought that I was a racist because I separated my whites from my colors."

"A nurse puts her hand in her pocket, finds a rectal thermometer and exclaims.... ""Some arsehole's got my pen!"""

"""What does the fox say?"" Whatever the Rupert Murdoch tells it to."

"I'm married, yet the only person that willingly goes down on their knees in front of my crotch is a 72 year old suit tailor named Pablo."

"Why do hippies wear corduroy? It's groovy!"

"My dog is so passive-aggressive. She let me sleep in late this morning, but then counter-surfed and stole my breakfast."

"Did you hear about the Mathematician who was constipated, and lost his calculator? He worked it out with a pencil"

"According to the stores .I should be in a Halloween costume, sitting under a Christmas tree eating turkey . I'm so confused."