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Joke of the Day

"""Daddy why is Santa's sack so big?"" daughter asked, ""because he only comes once a year darling""."

"My favorite part about being an adult is that my pillow fort now has a mini bar."

"I had a colonoscopy done the other day and I think it went really well... As I was walking out I overheard the nurses talking about me and I could hear one saying ""What an asshole!"""

"Be sure to empty your pockets before doing your laundry You could get in trouble for money laundering."

"How do you catch the Easter Bunny? Hide in the bushes and make a noise like a carrot!"

"""I got expelled"" How? ""I wrote 2+2=41 on the whiteboard"" Ok that's dumb but- ""So my prof told me to go back up there..."" Oh no ""and rub 1 out"""

"A Limbo Champion Walks Into a Bar. He loses his title."

"What do you call a hairpiece on an Asian guy? ...an Oriental Rug."

"What do you call a nun with a drinking problem? A bad habit"

"*embraces diversity* Diversity: ""I have a boyfriend"""