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Joke of the Day

"The Welsh came up with the idea for sheep intestine condoms. The English decided to remove the rest of the sheep first."

"what % of the time are birds just chilling"

"To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target."

"When my date told me he was a 'culinary genius', I replied, 'Then this Brazilian won't go to waste!', and winked. Now we wait."

"""Nailed it."" -inventor of crucifixion"

"What has 100 legs and 3 teeth? A centipede on meth."

"I like to reinvent myself every year, last year I was a small Italian woman and the year before that a bear."

"A poster at the door of a church said, ""If you are tired of your sins, come in."" Someone used lipstick to write her number beneath it and added ""Call me, if not."""

"My Friend Told Me His Girlfriend Talks a lot in Her Sleep.. ..Apparently ""I Know"" wasn't the right answer."

"What do you call a chicken looking at lettuce? Chicken caesar salad"