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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a pirate who is lost at sea and has to drink his own pee to survive? Aarrrrrrr Kelly!"

"Who wants to go to Florida with me? I heard the clubs are to die for."

"What did Aaron Hernandez lose when after he got cut by the Patriots His TE"

"Fun trick: Handcuff her and tell her you're taking her to 50 Shades of Grey. That way she can't escape when you go to The SpongeBob Movie."

"Who came first, the chicken or the egg? They came together, it was a perfect lay."

"I got in touch with my inner self once... Never buying single ply toilet paper again."

"Did you know that its illegal for someone living next to a cemetery to be buried there? that would be called murder."

"My doctor put me on a strict vegan diet, but every Monday I'm allowed a cheat day So I nip out and fuck his wife."

"What do zombies with dyslexia eat? Brians."

"Adolescent Sex Limerick There once was a girl named Sue, who really knew how to screw. She would grab my little dick, make it as hard as a stick then ride it until I blew."