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Joke of the Day

"Why do Lannisters hate turtles? Cause they can't stab them in the back"

"its funny when people are like ""whos to say whats truly 'cool'... who gets to define cool"". its like, come on dude. hot babes decide it. duh"

"What do you call a horny Catholic? A firm believer."

"I just killed a man Knifely done"

"I didn't think it was funny when I first wrote this one... I gair aunty this is gonna be five steps removed from swishing nebraskan listerine on a gold claim. ...I was right."

"Why are girls always cold? Because of their cold black hearts."

"A guy is fingering his girlfriend... ...after a while, she starts to shift uncomfortably and says ""would you mind taking your ring off, please?"" The guy responds: ""what ring? That's my wristwatch!"""

"I think the only girl I know that hasn't said ""you're like a brother to me"" is my sister."

"Q: Why do liberals travel in threes? A: One to read one to write and the other one to keep an eye on both intellectuals."

"I'm too young to be too old for everything."