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Joke of the Day
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"What's the hardest part to cook in a vegetable ? The wheelchair"
"How to end an interview: 1. Thank them for their time. 2. Shake their hand firmly. 3. Firmer. 4. Firmer yet. 5. BREAK HIS HAND YOU MUST WIN"
"What's the difference between Barack Obama and Cecil the lion? Ones an African lion, the other's a lyin' African."
"Just changed someone's ""fun"" name in my phone back to their normal name to regain some control over my life."
"Put the punchline before the setup. What's the best way to ruin any joke?"
"What do you call a cow... What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean Beef. What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef. What do you call a cow with epilepsy? Beef Jerky."
"What's the most confusing compliment to give a woman in her 40's? If you had a daughter, I'd fuck her."
"Son: Mom! What's a gf? Mom: if you're a good boy, you'll get one when you're older. Son: What is I'm not a good boy? Mom: You'll get many."
"Have you heard that joke they don't tell gays?"