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Joke of the Day

"Why do you call the US government when a blizzard of secret information gets released? They're snowed-en!"

"I've never been carded at a Forever 21."

"I am only drinking 2 beers tonight, but in dog beers."

"A woman turns to her husband and asks... ""Dear, how many women have you slept with?"" He replied, ""Just you dear, the other ones kept me awake."""

"Last Jew to win a Heisman Trophy? Fred Goldman"

"Why are these Facebook status updates so much more interesting than usual? Oh, because this isn't Facebook - it's a mattress label. My bad."

"A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said, Keep off the Grass.'"

"My WWII joke is quite predictable How did Jew Nazi that coming?"

"25% of twitter users are on medication for mental illness, which means 75% are running around untreated."

"Why couldn't Cinderella play football very well? Her coach was a pumpkin"