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Joke of the Day

"Yesterday I fell, landed on my back, and could not roll over and get up. At the time I was wearing a Turtleneck Sweater."

"I never make New Year's resolutions. I just carry the ones over from the previous year and add ""This time I'm serious"""

"Knock knock jokes Didn't go down well at the homeless shelter."

"How do you tell the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer? Rectal thermometer tastes like shit"

"[NSFW] What's the difference between a bucket of dead babies and a pile of sex toys? The bucket."

"What's the difference between reddit and facebook? Reddit is better"

"A German got pulled over by the police in France. Police officer: ""Name?"" German: ""Heinrich Klimt"" Police officer: ""Age?"" German: ""31"" Police officer: ""occupation?"" German: ""No, no. Just visiting"""

"The problem with teaching a man to fish is that eventually somebody will microwave that fish in the work break room."

"What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? *Gag*"

"My current favorite people are atheists who are big into astrology."