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Joke of the Day

"Fun WWI fact: There are more crashed planes down at the bottom of the ocean than- -crashed submarines in the sky."

"If King Kong went to Hong Kong to play ping pong and died. What would they put on his coffin ? A lid !"

"Rice: for when you're not really hungry but still wanna eat a 1000 of something."

"Holy crap! I can't believe it! Thanks to Twitter - I'm going to Yale! Wait a minute... Jail - I'm going to jail! Oh..."

"The Mrs recognizes my ""tell"" when I've seen an attractive woman: my eyes pop 4 inches out of their sockets and I make a loud ""A-OOGA"" noise."

"I gave away all of my dead batteries Free of charge."

"A man visits his local dentist. Dentist: Now please take a seat, this will hurt a little. Patient: Ok. Dentist: I've been having an affair with your wife for a while now."

"What do you call a bakery owned by a redhead? A Ginger Bread-House"

"""I'd hit that!"" -Helpful blackjack dealer"

"*NSFW-ish* Two nuns Two nun's are crossing the road when a vampire jumps out. Nun 1 turns to Nun 2 and says ""Quick, show him your cross"" Nun 2 turns to the Vampire and says ""Oi, Fuck off!"""