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Joke of the Day

"Cutting a bell pepper feels like the vegetable version of killing an alien with all its little alien babies."

"What do you call the guy who envies his friend's gelatin? Jello-us"

"A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption. Always been a family favourite."

"So I called my friend turkey and I said to him ""Turkey, la gente esta muy loca. What the cluck?"""

"More tattoo artists really just need to say ""No, I'm not doing that."""

"can U answer this? If a woman is uncomfortable watching you masturbate ...Do you think: (a) You need more time together, (b) She's a prude, or (c) She should sit somewhere else on the bus?"

"My boyfriend offered to do analingus if I'd trim a ""landing strip..."" I told him he should be more worried about Skid Row."

"You're like an opera singer.... Cause it's all about me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-meeee ----Robert Kelly"

"Why hasn't Mexico won any medals in the Olympics? Because all the Mexicans who can swim well, jump high and run fast are in the United States."

"What do you call a psychoanalysis game show? Family Freud"