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Joke of the Day

"You're like an opera singer.... Cause it's all about me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-meeee ----Robert Kelly"

"This bicyclist in front of me sure dresses like he could be pedaling faster."

"Where's the loneliest place on earth at? Hillary Clinton's vagina."

"What does cheese say to itself when taking a selfie in the mirror? Hallooooo me!"

"Child: ""Mom! Mom! The dog is having it off and is f*cking!"" Mom: ""Yeah, then don't look!"" --- ___ --- ___ --- | --- ___ --- 20 seconds later the Child: ""But it hurts..."""

"My most pretentious joke. Knock knock. Who's there? To. To who? To whom."

"""Oh, are you driving?"" -Good question to ask someone as they force you into their trunk"

"Resistance is not futile... It's voltage divided by current."

"What do you call a student that graduates bottom of their class in Med school? A doctor."

"My friend from Hollywood always told me, ""Shoot for the stars."" He was an assassin."