214507

Joke of the Day

"High school girls are a lot like heaven... ...hard to get in to. -[Dylan Mandlsohn](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-XwGpz91IDo)"

"I've just been dumped by my girlfriend. She found me creepy because I have a nickname for my penis. Guess now that I'm single again, I'll have to take Matters into my own hands."

"a baby seal walks into a club.."

"""I will love you forever or until I cum"" MEN"

"Forgive me for this one A German soldier who loves animals can't decide what to do after WWII. His friend says, Otto, it's easy to figure out. You're a Veteran Aryan."

"What do Japanese men do when they have erections? Vote."

"I keep graphic, full frontal nude pictures of myself on my cell phone in case anyone ever hacks it. That'll teach 'em. Can't unsee that."

"I can't afford Ugg boots, so I just never shave below the knee to create the illusion that I'm wearing them."

"WIFE: Please stop. ME: Stop what? WIFE: Singing in the shower. ME: What's the big deal? WIFE: You're scaring everyone at Home Depot."

"You want hear Latvian joke? Okay, I am tell... Why Latvian take so good pictures? No potato."