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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a person who only speaks one language? American."

"What do you call a Marshmallow eaten by Aliens? A Mars-mallow"

"Did you hear about the two silk worms that got in a fight? It ended in a tie."

"What's the difference between a Harley Davidson and a vacuum cleaner? The placement of the dirt bag."

"""your mom"" jokes can be fun but they can be over-used too . . . . just like your mom"

"I ejaculated into my girlfriend's eye today... But to be fair, she should've seen it coming."

"Why does the sad crab walk side ways? Because he has nothing to look forward to"

"Justin has his Beliebers. 1D have their Directioners. If I ever had fans/stalkers I'd call them Tomaskateers."

"I could live in this house for a million years and still second guess which switch is for the garbage disposal every time."

"I like my underwear the way i like my Ronda Rousey fights Boxer brief"