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Joke of the Day

"I once lived with a Canadian family for a year... They didn't want me to, but were too polite to ask me to leave!"

"Why did the stoner take his wife to court? He wanted to get joint custody."

"The hardest part about eating a vegetable... Manipulating the wheel chair."

"How many women fits in a monk monastery? Nun."

"[hitting a beach ball back and forth with son] *accidentally hits it over his head and into an outdoor concert* ""don't bother son, its gone"""

"[NSFW?] As a guy, I've become very insensitive... because I masturbate too much."

"When I get naked in the bathroom, the shower usually gets turned on."

"How do you starve a black guy? Put his food stamps under his work boots."

"What do you call a gay dinosaur? Stegosoreass."

"I was walking in the desert and saw a redwood tree. I knew this must be a mirage, so I ran into it. To my dismay, the tree and I collided. I guess it must have been an obstacle illusion."