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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a computer that farts? A compooter. 8D"

"Last night, my Chevy was bitten by a vampire. Now it's Vlad the Impala."

"How many maple leafs does it take to change a tire? Only 1, unless it's a blowout then the whole team shows up"

"I just ate lunch at a restaurant that calls french fries, 'Freedom Fries.' Thats just fucking stupid, pardon my freedom."

"My new juice cleanse is called Vodka with a side of Tonic"

".@WebMD a girl just texted me ""K"" am i going to die"

"I googled your mom and got a virus. For all the ""your mom"" jokesters out there. Just made that one up."

"What do I look for in a car? A sound-proof cabin so I can sing every rap lyric regardless of the neighborhood I'm driving through."

"This cab driver is THE WORST. I keep telling him ""You passed my house, let me out"" & he's all like ""Sir I'm a cop and your under arrest for public nudity and intoxication."""

"My dog stared at me for 10 minutes. Then, like magic, I knew he had to poop. And now, I have my own psychic show on A&E.;"