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Joke of the Day

"A man asks God... Man: ""Why did you make women so beautiful?"" God: ""So you would love her."" Man: ""Then why did you make her so dumb?"" God: ""So she would love you."""

"Want to avoid making excuses when people ask you to hang out? Always say no when someone asks ""wanna hear something amazing?"""

"Just saw a homeless dude with a sign reading ""Hungry Hungry Hobo"". I shouldn't laugh right?"

"I decided to have that fifth cup of coffee, and now the ghosts of my ancestors are scrolling through my iTunes trying to pick a summer jam."

"How exactly is carrying a screaming two year old different from playing the bagpipes?"

"There is a James Brown impersonator in South Korea. He's known as the Godfather of Seoul."

"A man got hit hard in the head with a bottle of 7up. He's alright though,it was a soft drink."

"In life, sometimes it's not good to be very specific. For instance, it's okay to say ""I love kids"" but it's frowned upon to say ""I love 12 year olds."""

"Sometimes I wish I was a mermaid. Maybe then HR would stop hassling me for wearing a seashell bra on casual Fridays."

"When I told the doctor about my loss of memory, he made me pay in advance."