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Joke of the Day

"I always type ""please"" at the end of my Google searches because I'm not an asshole."

"I'm a take me or leave me kind of girl. Wait, where ya going?"

"Did you hear about the overachieving masturbator? He's constantly outdoing himself."

"What's scary, yellow, almost no eyes, has TONS of hair, and is constantly threatening to kill me if I don't suck it's dick? My Korean girlfriend."

"TIFU by trying to be witty at the airport... The TSA confiscated my protein powder asking ""Are you planning on building any bombs with this substance?"" I replied ""No, only guns."""

"What has 4 wheels and flies? A garbage truck"

"What do you call a penis with stamps on it? Male. Of course, if you have to sign for it, it's a package."

"Is Google a male or a female? Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion."

"Ever hear the one about the Chinese Godfather? He made him an offer he couldn't understand."

"So, I hear Islamic Mysticism is all you need... It's suficient."