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Joke of the Day
"I just saw the pope in the restroom Holy shit"
Next Joke
"Tarantulas make great pets because when they die, rather than grieving you'll feel an almost overwhelming sense of relief"
"My mom once told me.... ....the only way I'll ever get laid is if I crawl up a chicken's ass and wait."
"I invented a new word the other day. Plagiarism."
"What's Blue, Orange and Lying at the Bottom of a Swimming Pool? What's blue, orange and lying at the bottom of a swimming pool? A baby with popped floaties."
"I went to my doctor. He said I was overweight. I said I want a second opinion. He said you're ugly too."
"What's the saddest computer you can buy? A Dell"
"Other parents do back-to-school pics of kids holding signs w/ their grade on it & mine are just a series of selfies w/ me & the bus driver."
"'They'll be searching for days!' I giggle as I leave 'sorry bout the damage notes' on random cars at the Costco"
"Where does a Mexican store his food? Hispantry"