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Joke of the Day

"Going to work My boss told me yesterday, ""Don't dress for the job you have, dress for the job you want"". But when I turned up at the office today in Ghostbusters gear, the bastard said I was fired."

"Never drink water while studying It'll dilute your concentration"

"I fucked this bitch the other night... The next day, she was starting to get overly attached and needy, so I asked my buddy for some advice. He said, ""Yeah man, golden retrievers can be like that."""

"The year 4542, artifacts are discovered from our once flourishing civilization. ""Looks like they worshiped apples."" said one archeologist."

"The key to great joke tel TIMING! ling is"

"What do you call a pantry full of lesbians? A lick-her cabinet"

"The difference between erotic and kinky: Erotic is when you use a feather. Kinky is when you use the whole chicken."

"Can someone give me an arrow? I knee'd it."

"A clean house is a sign of a misspent life."

"Dating a homeless girl I can just drop her off anywhere after the date right?"