214335
Joke of the Day
"What do you call and eight sided dildo? A cocktopus."
Next Joke
"What do you call a snarky criminal going down a flight of stairs? A condescending con descending."
"If you make $200 an hour you can't complain that your employer is fucking you Because $200 an hour is a very reasonable rate for getting fucked."
"What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito stops sucking when you slap it."
"Trampolines used to be called jumpolines... Then your mom jumped on one!"
"Two Cannibals are eating Amy Schumer.. One turns to the other and says 'Does this taste funny to you?' The other looks back and replies 'no.'"
"Why don't you ever want Hitler to be your chemistry lab partner? Because he always ends with a really fucked up final solution"
"[1st day in Senate] Me: I'm against genetic engineering Scientist: We've developed kids w/ volume knobs Me: How much funding do you need"
"How are socks like Boy Scouts? They always come pre-paired."
"Darth Vader says to Luke 'I know what you're getting for Christmas'. Luke: How could you know that? Darth: I have felt your presents"