214301

Joke of the Day

"Wife just found out my ring tone for her is ""ding dong the witch is dead"" so if anyone wants to race to Canada READY SET GO"

"*Godzilla screeching in pain as he accidentally steps on Legoland*"

"How are the Seahawks and my girlfriend similar? they both can get 16 shoved down their throat without choking"

"Negative people There is a special place for all the negative people in the universe. It's called the 3rd Quadrant."

"What did one lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire? ""See you next month"""

"""See? I'm not nothing,"" I thought... ...as the sliding glass doors opened for me :("

"I always wake up my friend by shouting ""Hands off cocks! On with socks!"" I don't think she likes it."

"Would've totally banged this chick at the bar, but I noticed she had a crooked pinkie toe. Better luck with someone without standards,babe."

"Why would you wear two pairs of pants while golfing? You might get a hole in one."

"Why did America remove the ""u"" from ""colour""? Because fuck u that's why"