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Joke of the Day

"Sex between a man and a woman can be wonderful provided you get between the right man and the right woman."

"What do you call a guy that hates Christmas and steals the woman you love? Ebenezer Scrooge-yagirl"

"I know peanut allergies are serious but kids who have them are ruining everything"

"Did you hear about the thalidomide porn star? He had an arm like a baby's cock."

"What do rehab and the days after Christmas have in common? Cold turkey"

"I like my violence how I like my beer... Domestic."

"My thai girlfriend told me a small penis doesn't matter... ...I still wish she didn't have one though"

"I'm sorry to hear your uncle was run over by a boat in Venice. My gondolences."

"I have caller ID for the front door. If you don't call me first, I am NOT answering the door."

"me: how was your camping trip 5 y/o: good me: what'd you guys do 5 y/o: camped"