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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a Jew and harry potter? Harry can escape the chamber."

"What did the moderator say to the redditor? [Deleted]"

"My wife was fixing the caulk around our tub... Me: You should use some caulk softener to make that easier. Wife: Is that like a picture of your mom or something? (actual conversation)"

"Why do neurologists think they're God? Because they can turn any animal into a vegetable!"

"My wife said that if anything ever happened to her, she'd want me to meet someone new. Apparently, getting stuck in traffic doesn't count as ""anything""."

"A gas station had 2 signs in the window, help wanted and self-service. I walked in and hired myself. credit: Steven Wright"

"If you broke up with your gf who works at a salad bar you can use the line ""lettuce romaine friends"" at a low cost of my student loans."

"World: Hey check out this sport we made called football. America: *sips beer* Check out this other sport I just made called football."

"I'd like Twitter to suggest: Since you've just unfollowed that loser, how about you get rid of some more fucking deadwood, like ......"

"What's the difference between marriage and identity theft? At least with identity theft you know you're getting fucked."