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Joke of the Day

"Aerosmith guitarist Joe Perry was *rear ended* this morning. Now I understand why he Walks This Way."

"How Many Friendzoned Guys Does It Take To Change A Lightbulb? None, they'll just compliment it and get pissed when it won't screw."

"I take it personally when I let a car cut in front of me and then they immediately get into another lane. Come back you are with me now."

"Don't trust atoms. They make up everything."

"Officer, I swear there is a simple explanation.. ~me standing in the street with no pants, one sock and a turkey baster in my hand"

"What do the Irish hate more than potatoes? No potatoes."

"Made this up at lunch So a man robs a bank with a condom on his head. He then yells: ""This is a Stick-Up!"""

"Lmao this joke has no punchline because Ellen Pao"

"I heard they found water on Mars... I bet California is pretty jealous."

"Two fish are in a tank. One fish turns to the other and says, ""You man the guns, I'll drive""."