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Joke of the Day

"I woke my wife one night and said ""The force is awakening."" She replied, ""Not tonight Hand Solo."""

"What's a pirate's favourite letter? P, without it he's irate."

"I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.. I can't put it down."

"Q: What do you say to a man with five penises? A: ""Your jeans fit like a glove."""

"Three guys walk into a bar: an alcoholic, a priest, and a child molester... And that's just the first guy."

"What's big, Scottish, and depressing? Scotland."

"dentist was flossing my teeth & said ""they're very tight"" & I said ""yeah they're homies"" & he laughed so loud that it made me uncomfortable"

"What do you call a fashion designer, who is not yet sure about his new collection? Tommy Hilfigeritout"

"Q: When a 16-inch viola and a 17-inch viola are dropped simultaneously from a 30-story building which one hits the pavement first? A: Who cares!"

"Having heard that Steve Jobs is in hospital with only his Ipad to comfort him I've decided to release the cure for pancreatic cancer into the public domain. But only in flash."