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Joke of the Day

"My eyes have been bugging me recently, so I went to the doctor. He told me I have ocular herpes. Apparently I've been looking for love in all the wrong places."

"What do you call a cantaloupe who can't elope? A cantaloupe. The spelling is completely different..."

"What is the meaning of trust? A cannibal giving you a blowjob"

"Knock Knock Who's there? Aren't you glad I didn't say banana?"

"Jesus fed 5,000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.. That's not a miracle. That's tapas."

"Michelle Obama should have dropped the mic and moonwalked out."

"Asked my grandfather if he had anything equivalent to Victoria's Secret when he was young He said ""No, we had morals."""

"A nun goes to the greengrocer, asking for a cucumber. ""Get 2"" he says. ""So you have one to eat"""

"We were driving past the graveyard and my dad asks: ""Do you know why I can't be buried there?"" ""Why not?"" ""Because I'm not dead yet, Son."""

"Did you hear about the infection who made a Youtube video? He went viral..."