197518

Joke of the Day

"What goes in dry, but comes out hard and wet? A Teabag."

"Why did raggedy Ann get kicked out of the toy box? She kept sitting on Pinocchio's face screaming ""LIE TO ME""!"

"Opportunity knocks only once, if you hear a second knock it's probably a Jehovah's witness."

"One time i saw a man eat a whole apple, core and everything. Motherboard and power supply too. The man ate a computer it was horrifying"

"Before calling me, ask yourself, ""Is this textable?"""

"I just saw a guy with a mustache exactly like my grandpa's. I doubt it was his though; grandpa never let anyone borrow his mustache."

"I walked past a drug rehab facility today. There was a sign on the front lawn that read ""KEEP OFF THE GRASS!"""

"I already know what I want to be when I get older.. Younger"

"I'm dying to get one of those babies that smoke. Too cute!"

"A wife is like a hand grenade you take away the ring, and there goes your house"