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Joke of the Day

"Watching cooking shows makes you realize how much forehead sweat is possibly in your food"

"Why did the detective wear a patch on his left eye? It's his private eye."

"I love fucking love coffee. It's what keeps me up at night."

"What do you feed someone in a coma from breakfast? Coma-toast."

"Why are all ants British? Because they colonize."

"I just rolled a joint... Now my ankle hurts Edit: You did not expect that!"

"If Beethoven's music had base in it... He would be basethoven."

"You can't give me a mini fan at work and expect me not to spend the whole morning pretending I'm a model doing a photo shoot. It's science."

"There was once a magical tractor... It turned in to a field"

"What do you call a hooker's fart? ... ... A Prosti- Toot!"