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Joke of the Day

"Joseph confronts Mary... Joseph: ""Mary, I've heard you've been prostituting your body through the town!"" Mary: ""Don't worry, Joseph. I was just trying to make a little prophet."""

"I tried a new fragrance today. It's called Tester."

"What do you call a Mexican with a rubber toe? Roberto!"

"I always say no to drugs... But they never listen."

"What's the difference between jelly and jam? I can't jelly this joke onto /r/jokes everyday"

"What sits at the bottom of the ocean and twitches? A drowning epileptic."

"""WE HERE AT BIG PHARMA RECOGNIZE THAT WHEN YOU'RE DEPENDENT ON ADDICTIVE OPIOID PAINKILLERS YOUR BIGGEST PROBLEM IS YOU CAN'T POOP"""

"what the black guy get on his SAT's? BBQ sauce"

"Reporter: so what is it like being in Maroon 5 when you're not Adam Levine, um Mr. Uh- *quickly googles for his name but google has no idea*"

"""Captain, have you ever made love at sea?"" ""No son, but I've been blown ashore many a time."""