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Joke of the Day

"Joseph confronts Mary... Joseph: ""Mary, I've heard you've been prostituting your body through the town!"" Mary: ""Don't worry, Joseph. I was just trying to make a little prophet."""

"how many feet does the centipede use while running only 98, the other 2 are swinging"

"If a fireman's job can go up in smoke, and a plumbers job can go down the drain, can a hooker get laid off?!"

"[first date] her: so are you a dog or cat person? me: *long dramatic pause* well... i'm almost positive that i'm just a normal person..?"

"Daaaaamn girl! You're like a fire alarm! Really loud and annoying!"

"How many Vietnam vets does it take to screw in a lightbulb? You don't know man, you weren't there!"

"Mum: Why does your little brother jump up and down before taking his medicine? Boy: Because he read the label and it said 'shake well before using.'"

"How many psychologists does it take to change a tire? Just one, but first the tire really has to want to change."

"There should be a 5 second rule when girls start to cry where they can take it back. Win-win."

"What is Popeye's favorite Led Zeppelin song? Olive My Love"