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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a tsunami and a bear? A tsunami doesn't care that you are faster than your buddy."

"Which faction in Divergent has the largest number of lamborghinis? Erudite because they like knowledge a lot more than materialistic things"

"Photosynthesis is the process used by plants to convert a picture into a thousand words"

"If you want to be remembered when you die... Borrow money from everyone you know"

"What's the difference between Ethiopians and gorillas? Nobody cares about Ethiopians dying. (First post on r/jokes and a bit offensive)"

"[Police sketch artist job interview] ""How am I not qualified?"" Your resume is a stick figure and a poorly drawn igloo ""It's a cat actually"""

"Why are you breaking up with me? ""You treat your dog like a baby. It's weird"" Shh *puts hands over dog's ears* he's 26 months he understands"

"Quoting famous dead people on the internet is stupid. ~Confucius"

"[Interview] ""Tell me your weaknesses"" Me: Well, I.. *wife busts in* He's a mouth breather, leaves the toilet seat up, forgets to take out th"

"Wrapping presents takes a LOT longer when your kid sneaks up behind you & cuts off your arm with an empty wrapping paper tube lightsaber."