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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a tsunami and a bear? A tsunami doesn't care that you are faster than your buddy."

"What did the dog use to make his kite? Flypaper."

"Billy has 32 candy bars. He eats 28. What does he have now? Diabetes. Billy has diabetes."

"I'm in a band named 999 megabytes We still haven't got a gig yet"

"PATIENT: Since I got this new job my feet are killing me. DR DOG: What's your job? PATIENT: Mailman DR DOG: *chases him out of room barking*"

"Using a macbook is like making love to a woman There are so many things to do with your fingers, but none of them work."

"American Pharoah wins the Triple Crown, this is a historic moment... It's been 37 years since someone owned horse semen this valuable."

"I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months I don't like to interrupt her."

"There's something about a mousetrap that I can't quite put my finger on."

"What's the difference between a baby and a sandwich? I don't fuck my sandwiches before I eat them."