202013

Joke of the Day

"A man went to the vet for advice to curb his racist dog that kept barking at his Asian neighbour. ""Muzzle him"" the vet advised. The man paused, and exclaimed, ""could be, he does have a big beard"""

"A dad says to his son, ""Son, if you don't stop masturbating, you're going to go blind."" ""Dad, I'm over here."""

"Why do orphans like tennis? Only place they can get love"

"When I'm sad I go to the fabric softener aisle of a store & imagine I'm in the clean mountains surrounded by blue sparkles and wild flowers."

"Watching Finding Dory & her parents call her ""cupcake."" How do they know what that is? This movie doesn't seem very realistic, you guys."

"Do you know the best part about having only one eye and bad vision? LASIK is half off."

"Why did the heart get sent to police station? Cardiac arrest."

"A Higgs Boson walks into a Church and is told to leave He says 'but you can't have mass without me!'"

"What did the Imam say after he was replaced by immigrants? They took my hijab!"

"What's the pound's new name? The ounce"