213819

Joke of the Day

"I wanted to get my sex change reversed from a woman back to being a man... ...but I didn't have the balls to go through with it."

"Welcome to our nearly empty restaurant. Please follow me to our worst table."

"I haven't swam competitively since I was a sperm."

"How do Germans tie there shoes? With little Nazis."

"When you guys describe me to your families do you use the word tigress? I'd prefer if you included tigress"

"What does a black man do after sex? 15 years."

"Nobody told jokes in the USSR... Because in Soviet Russia, jokes tell you."

"In Soviet Russia, tired joke format tweets YOU."

"Im making a heavy metal band... Im thinking of naming it Lead-arsenic-mercury."

"""THEN HE GOES BACK IN TIME AND THE DOGGIE IS SAD AND ICE CREAM."" --My 3 year-old, telling a more coherent story than LOST."