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Joke of the Day

"Me: I have a date tonight. Friend: A guy coming over to install cable isn't a date. Me: *frowns* But I got a cheese platter...."

"I've never seen 'Downton Abbey', but I did see the episode of 'Roseanne' when Becky ""cut the cheese"" at least 50 times."

"What fighting style does best girl use? Waifoo."

"What do you call a rabbit who works in a bakery? A yeaster bunny!"

"Why did the run-on sentence take a pregnancy test? Because its period came too late."

"Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven raped Snow White."

"""You missed a spot."" -g"

"Why are girls bad at maths? They can't even."

"Q: What did the snail say as he rode on the back of a turtle? A: Wheeee!"

"HR: How do you think we can better handle this in the future? ME [glaring at Cheryl, who took the last donut]: idk, maybe don't hire Cheryl"