110738

Joke of the Day

"My grandfather never forgave the Japanese for Pearl Harbor... ...until I explained to him that it was the Americans who made that movie."

"Redditors screaming REPOST!! at everything are like grandparents. Just that they don't even seem to *like* the 'good old days'."

"I masticate at least three times a day, usually at my computer Damn sticky keys!"

"What do you get if you cross Islam and Capitalism? No more jokes about the profit."

"My son asked me what it's like to be married so I told him to leave me alone and when he did I asked him why he was ignoring me."

"So a guy calls into work and says, ""I can't come in today, I'm seeing spots."" ""Have you seen a doctor?"" ""No, just the spots."""

"How to win an argument with a woman: 1. Too late, you're already wrong."

"What do you call a fat Taylor Swift? Taylor not so Swift"

"How do German women know when they're pregnant? They're never late..."

"Did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm and leg? He's all right now."