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Joke of the Day

"Kentucky Derby trivia - Why don't female jockeys shave their pussies? They like their fur long! I'll show myself out..."

"""You're not gonna get a quote out of me."" - Donald J. Trump ""Wrong."" - Donald J. Trump"

"If I was a candle... ...and somebody dumped a bucket of water on me, I'd be quite put out."

"Q: Why did the suspenders get arrested? A: Because they held up a pair of pants."

"Why are the reddit servers down so much? Because they're being beaten like a dead horse."

"[Giraffe Weatherman] ""Yes Bob, we have a major blizzard happening up here but *giraffe lowers head* on the ground we're still looking good."""

"Santa Claus uses foreign elves to make his toys. It's time to bring those jobs back to America. Huge tariffs coming to the North Pole!"

"If your uncle jack helped you off a horse, would you help your uncle jack off a horse?"

"What do you call a hooker laying down? Whorizontal. Thanks, I'll show myself out."

"I can't wait for hillary to become president and appoint bernie sanders as her vice president ""I did not have sexual relations with that man"""